robert-deniroHas there ever been a movie made about project management? I don’t remember ever seeing one and while it might sound weird to suggest this subject to a Hollywood producer you just need to think for a minute about some of the other strange subject matters which have been given the movie treatment in the past. So, if someone were to make a movie about one of your projects who would play you? Let’s see who would play me, to see if it gives you any ideas.

Tom Hanks

Hanks is an actor I like more all the time. I used to find him a little annoying to be honest but he seems to have been in a few roles which have been more to my taste. He’s a few years older than me I guess but, hey, he stills looks good enough to play me as long as he has a good sleep before each scene and puts on enough make up. I think he would portray the project manager in the movie as a being a sympathetic, intelligent guy who likes a bit of fun, which is pretty much how I would like to be seen. Hopefully he won’t get up to any of that nonsense he did in the Da Vinci Code, running away from the cops and cracking bizarre codes. It would make a more exciting film than him holding meetings and dealing with staffing issues but it wouldn’t be very accurate, would it?

Robert De Niro

Can you believe that Robert De Niro is now 69 years old? It seems to have been a few years since I saw one of his movies but he has long been one of my favourite actors. However, he would be a far scarier project manager than me. I like to think that I have a fairly gentle approach to dealing with my team members but can you imagine this guy bearing down on a hapless worker after they had failed to meet a deadline? I can’t help thinking that De Niro would make me seem like a far more aggressive project manager than I really am, although he is famous for being a studious method actor. Maybe he would follow me around at work for weeks in order to see what makes me tick and study my mannerisms. Wouldn’t that be awkward?

Jack Black

This is the last person I want to see play me in a film about my work. I was on an overnight bus journey in South America a couple of years ago and the driver decided to torture us all by putting on a sequence of Jack Black movies. Actually, it might just have been one, really long movie but the truth is that I suffered through a good portion of the Andes while this actor regaled us with small range of acting skills. I would like to think that millions of people across the globe wouldn’t walk out of my film thinking that I am a project buffoon who has a habit of making toilet related jokes and getting involved in very silly situations. You just wouldn’t take a project manager like Jack Black seriously, would you? There is a time to joke around but there is also a time to be serious and show that you mean business.

Rowan Atkinson (Mr Bean)

As a kid growing up in the UK I loved Rowan Atkinson in his role as Blackadder. This is probably still my favourite comedy of all time and I really must look out a DVD or two next weekend. Anyway, if you wanted to make me appear like a bumbling idiot then you could cast him as me. I now have this image in my head of Mr Bean sitting at the head of a project meeting and mumbling away in that silly little voice of his. Having Atkinson play a project manager would show us how important good communication is. As well as the importance of a bit of common sense I suppose.

Brad Pitt 

Well, if you are going to let me choose who is going to play me you aren’t expecting someone ugly, are you? Incredibly, he is about a decade older than me but he would still have them swooning in the aisles as he goes over the plan and updates the risks and issues log. The big problem with this casting decision is that some people might be tempted to see me/Brad on a superficial level, when I would really like to be taken seriously as a project leader. That’s always the problem for us handsome chaps, isn’t it?